I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
