4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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