Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
