Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
