Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I need to sanitize my soul.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
