Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
