my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you win again, gameday.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
