I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
