This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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