Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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