Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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