I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
