no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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