I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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