She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
