So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nicole vs. Life
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
