I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
