right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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