New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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