you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Randomize