so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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