if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We smell like vodka and hangover
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