The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
