Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
