part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
