So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
