I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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