at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
be right there i have to get my cape
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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