Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
