You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize