got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
