Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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