Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
