I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
