Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
