so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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