'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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