so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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