fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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