we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
