but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
