No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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