Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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