I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
