sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
