having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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