Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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