Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
