so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
