I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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